This week, we want to share with you an article that we read recently. The article is written by Carl Richards and appeared in the New York Times. We’ve pasted the article in the body of the post, but you can also click to read the article here. As you’ll see, the article is about empathy, and understanding that all of us will–at some time–be dealing with something that rocks us to our core. The trouble is that for most…
If you toss a group a grenade…they will run for cover. Starting a conversation with accusations or anger is akin to tossing a grenade into a room and expecting people to want to play “catch.” No matter how valuable your insight or how accurate your concern, the act of grenade tossing will result in people not hearing you because they’re consumed with ducking for cover. In talking to a client about his accusatory behavior he stated, “But the grenade isn’t…
As coaches, we get hired because people – despite the best of intentions – are struggling to change the things that are getting in the way of their success. Our goal is to help you recognize and overcome those habitual reactions that keep the changes you’re working toward from taking hold. The key behind the work that we do is helping people manage their reactivity, and to do that we teach them something we designed called, the Fundamental PAUSE. The…
If you’ve been a part of our community for a while, you know that we think a lot about the ways we can support you to move forward on the things that are important to you, bring you meaning, and create the future that you long for. Sometimes, those words can sound like the phrases on the magazines calling out to you from the local newsstand: “Be happy now!”, “Create the life you love!”, or “10 steps to living with…
One of the things many of our clients struggle with is how to get the most out of the negative people in their lives. Those people who are quick to see what’s wrong, or to resist a new idea, or who focus on all the potential “disastrous” consequences of a decision. Almost all of us have one or two in our lives and they can make moving an initiative forward challenging, unless you have the ability to tap into the…
“Between stimulus and response, there is space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” — Viktor Frankl Many of you who know our work know of our passion for the Fundamental Pause. We call it the Fundamental Pause because it is indeed a business fundamental. In the world of work, the ability to interrupt our typical reactions so that we can respond is profoundly powerful. But as Frankl…
We had a meeting this week with a wonderful woman, Janis, who is a leader in a number of spheres in her life—in her business, her family, her community, and her church. She is warm, kind, and powerful. She is often looked to for her wisdom and perspective and has a thoughtfulness that many admire. So, when she came into our meeting furious and saying she wanted to scream, she was apologetic. We assured her that she was in the…
One of the things we hear over and over again from clients, colleagues, and friends is that it’s challenging to use The Fundamental Pause when they have a strong physiological reaction. They describe the experience of flashing with anxiety, anger, and fear so powerfully that they simply “need” to react. We understand their experience as we have seen it in many clients over the years and have experienced it ourselves. There are those times when the physical nature of a…
A number of years ago, a thoughtful and talented business owner, Andrea, was bumping into some old anxieties about the sustainability of her business and the decisions she was making. We spent a couple of meetings teasing out the data behind her anxiety. We explored what she needed to be genuinely concerned about as the industry changed and the economy floundered. We also explored the various old messages, which were rooted in her family, that were grabbing her by the…
There comes a time in each of our lives when we are the recipient of “bad news.” You know, the news that kicks you in the gut and for that moment, the world stands still. A few of the “bad news” topics that we have supported our clients through include: the loss of a valued employee, important client, respected boss, desired promotion and promising job; the loss of a marriage, the failure of a business, the death of a parent;…