Recently, we’ve been talking about the second step in our Leader in You® framework, called REFLECT.First, we discussed the importance of Reflecting on Self, and then we talked about Reflecting on Others (more specifically, someone like your boss).
We heard from some of you that you found the content helpful and were happy to have some new ways of engaging with your manager. We’re so pleased to hear that!
Some of you mentioned that you’d like to have some content that would help you think about other people like work peers, or family and friends.
These reflection questions work well for most people, so today we’re showing how the four questions/answers might look for two different examples.
If you can take even a few seconds
to reflect on others and then
consider how you can help them
to show up at their best,
you’ll often have greater success.
REFLECT on OTHERS
EXAMPLE 1: A loved one
What are they afraid of in this situation?
Perhaps they’re having a health or financial issue and are worried that if they share it with you, it will make it “more real”, and you’ll be burdened too.
What do they typically do when they feel that way?
They withdraw from conversations, get quiet, and avoid the topic at all costs. When pushed, they get loud and defensive.
What do they do when they feel safe and at their best?
They are engaged, open, and vulnerable. They share good news as well as topics that are concerning or where they possibly need support.
What can you do to help them feel safe and at their best?
Knowing your loved one as you do, consider saying something like this, but in a way you trust that they can hear.
You’ve been quiet and distant lately, so I wanted to check in and see how you’re doing. I love you and worry about you when you’re not your usual self. Let me know what support from me would look like (including some alone time!)
EXAMPLE 2: A work colleague or employee
What are they afraid of in this situation?
They may fear they’ll be seen as incompetent in their role, or that they’ll get fired.
What do they typically do when they feel that way?
They’re negative in meetings and won’t consider anyone else’s ideas. They talk over others and push to get their way.
What do they do when they feel safe and at their best?
They have great collaborations and are open to being influenced by others and build upon ideas and plans. They create together.
What can you do to help them feel safe and at their best?
Knowing your colleague as you do, consider saying something like this, but in a way you trust that they can hear.
I appreciate that you can easily see the ripple effects of ideas so that we can head into a plan knowing what the challenges may be. It can be frustrating when others don’t see that skill. Together, let’s think about how you can share this idea and listen to the thoughts of others. Then, together, we can build something great.
As you can see, while you might use different wording depending on how close you are to the person, the core of your messages is similar:
- You care.
- You’re in it together.
This week, continue to PAUSE and REFLECT in both your personal and professional worlds and take notice of the richer conversations that are a result.
When people feel a sense of safety
and that you’re in it together,
they’ll be more likely to bring their best
to the relationship.
Stay tuned in the upcoming weeks for a deep dive into the third step in our Leader in You framework; ACT with POWER.
Let us know how it’s going.
If you’d like support
incorporating PAUSING or REFLECTING into your day,
contact us today.