Over the past month, we’ve been discussing the power of reciprocal influence in a series that covered overview examples and scripting suggestions for both your professional life and your personal life.
Reciprocal influence is at the core of our definition of leadership. As a reminder, that definition is this:
Leadership is the willingness to influence your world
and the willingness to be influenced by your world,
regardless of your role or title.
Today, we’re sharing some of our top recommendations for creating this new reciprocal influence behavior. You’ll see that many of these recommendations focus on our PAUSE framework.
If you’ve been with us for any length of time, you’ll know that the PAUSE is another one of the foundations of the work that we do, and it can be a game-changer for your leadership.
As you read through these suggestions, you may recognize many of them from previous posts. That’s because, no matter the new behavior you’re learning, we know that putting a foundational practice in place, can support you and your success.
Before
- Before heading into your day or into a conversation, PAUSE to set your intentions.
- Ask yourself, “If I’m communicating in a way that’s in alignment with my goal of influencing and being influenced by, what will that look like?”
- Also consider what it could look like to respond as the leader you want to be, should things go sideways. Try to get as detailed as possible with the new responses you’ll use, if you find yourself getting reactive.
In-the-moment
- When you feel yourself getting reactive, PAUSE and take a breath, a sip of water, or a walk down the hall.
- Ask yourself, “Is what I’m about to do or say in alignment with my goal of influencing and being influenced by?”
- If the answer is “yes”, well done! Take a few minutes after the interaction to celebrate that success.
- If the answer is “no”, then consider how you might respond as a leader, versus reacting.
Regularly
- Consider setting up a couple of electronic reminders (or handwritten notes) throughout the day to remind you to PAUSE.
- Ask yourself, “Am I showing up in ways that are in alignment with my goal of influencing and being influenced by?”
- If the answer is “yes”, well done! Take a few minutes to celebrate your successes and be as detailed as you can about how things went.
- If the answer is “no”, then reflect on your reactivity and what you would do differently next time. Consider setting up time with the other person(s) to clear the air. In addition, spend a few minutes to reset some intentions for the remainder of the day.
After
- After a meeting or at the end of your day, PAUSE and check in with yourself.
- Ask yourself, “Did I show up in a way that was in alignment with my goal of influencing and being influenced by?”
- If the answer if “yes”, well done! Take a few minutes to celebrate your successes and be as detailed as you can about how things went.
- If the answer is “no”, then reflect on your reactivity and what you would do differently next time. Consider setting up time with the other person(s) to clear the air.
With Others
- Find an accountability colleague, friend, or coach you could meet with weekly or monthly, to talk about your successes and challenges with showing up as a leader who influences their world and allows their world to influence them.
- Collaborate regularly with a colleague or team members to work on this new behavior together. You could craft scripting examples and lean on each other for support, in influencing your world and allowing your world to influence you.
Influence and be influenced by.
Whether in your personal or professional life, when you regularly lean in to share your best and lean back to allow others space to share their best, you’ll be creating deeper levels of trust, connection, and engagement.
What opportunities are there in your world where you want to work on influencing others AND being influenced by others?
Let us know what you find!
If you’d like support
influencing your world or
allowing your world to influence you,
contact us today.
