While we may not always know it, we are all hard-wired to want to be seen and heard. It starts immediately upon our entry into this world and if you ever doubt it, just watch a young child in a restaurant engaging most of the diners within 10 feet and getting them to smile and make faces for them. Being seen and heard is so important to our physical and neurological growth that babies that are not smiled at and…
People often seek executive coaching when they are stuck in a particular way of doing something or thinking about something that no longer works for them. They are, as it were, seeing the world from a perspective that isn’t moving them forward or connecting them with others in ways that they believe is best. We recently met with a VP of IT who described being irritable, angry and short with family and colleagues. He was focused on all that…
Last spring, we had the privilege of being in Rwanda, Africa for 3 weeks. It was striking to see how much the people of Rwanda had to work with one another just to live – because in Africa, it is work to live. It was stunning how hard it was and yet the harshness highlighted the joys that can be found daily in life and human connection. Here at home, we meet with people all the time who do just the opposite, they…
This summer an interesting commercial ran on television: There was a guy (named Mayhem) who was riding on the outside of the driver’s side of the car and became the driver’s blind spot. When the driver looked into the outside mirror to change lanes, Mayhem gave the A-Okay. So, the driver changed lanes (not seeing the car that was in her blind spot) and a huge crash ensued. During the collision, Mayhem was shouting with delight as the driver screamed…
Fifty-two weeks ago, we sent out the first of our Monday Morning Business Coach series. At the time, we made a commitment to offer usable nuggets of the expertise we have accumulated in our work and lives; but privately, we wondered whether we had anything useful to say week after week. Here we are fifty-two weeks later and we are delighted to say that we have gotten feedback from many of you that these nuggets have been profoundly helpful…
As coaches and consultants, we find that many of our clients care passionately about their work, their organizations, their teams, their families and their communities but matter little in their own lives. While this approach may seem to be selfless and generous, it is in fact shortsighted and misguided. If you are to be available to the people and efforts that you care about, you must think hard about creating a life in which you matter. From the great religious traditions to…
We recently came across another Chinese proverb that reminds us of a powerful reason for stepping fully into your life and claiming your leadership. Your ability to grow and nurture people is central to your organization’s, your community’s, and your family’s success. If you want one year of prosperity, grow grain If you want ten years of prosperity, grow tree If you want one hundred years of prosperity, grow people -Chinese Proverb Over and over again, we have…
We were recently asked if, as coaches and consultants, we could go in and “fix” an organization. It is an interesting question because while we make a significant impact on an organization and we support organizational success, we don’t “fix” the organization as much as we teach the individuals in the organization to step into their power and create an organization that they value and respect. Think of it this way – There are painters, called pointillists, who…
One question we often receive about communication is, “How do I get people to communicate with me one-on-one?” Many people are confident in their ability to facilitate communication in meetings, but in one-on-one meetings they struggle to shift from a “talking to” conversation to a “talking with” conversation. Many leaders fall into this dilemma, believing it is their job to be the authority, know the “truth,” and have all the answers. Therefore, they often have little practice genuinely engaging with…
One of the most frequent things that clients bring into coaching is frustration with a colleague who they believe feels totally confident in their perspective and will not bend to create collaboration or innovation. And sometimes, that’s true. But most of the time, the person who seems so difficult, so obstructionist, so cocky, is actually acting out their fear rather than their confidence. We know this seem counter-intuitive but it makes sense if you really think about it. One way…