One of the myths that we hear with great frequency is that “it takes 28 days to form a habit.” While it can be dismissed as a harmless myth, it actually leaves people feeling stupid or inadequate when, after 28 days, they have not changed something they have been working on, and that disappointment can keep them from sticking with their efforts to behave in new ways. In our experience, real change takes between 9–12 months of practice, and then…
Every once in a while we will have a conversation with a client that goes like this: Us: “Nicely done, you have a unique talent for ______.” Our client: “Nothing special, everyone can do this.” Us: “Actually, no they can’t—you have a pretty unique combination of skills!” Our client: “Oh, seriously? It never occurred to me that other people didn’t do this all the time!” We believe deeply in having people play to their strengths. Yet, often we find that…
Leadership requires disturbing people— but at a rate they can absorb. — Ronald Heifetz and Martin Linsky Leadership on the Line Everywhere you look these days there is an article about “disruptive” leadership, “disruptive” governance, “disruptive” innovation, etc. In 2002, Ron Heifetz and Martin Linsky spoke about this in Leadership on the Line. This quote spoke to us deeply because it says a lot about the importance of challenging limiting beliefs and behaviors in order to foster growth and innovation.…
Martin, a colleague of ours, recently asked for our counsel as he tried to figure out what to do. He had just found out that his mentor, a man he looked up to and respected, a man who had taught him a tremendous amount about his industry, and a man who had been like a father to him, had just been sent to jail for sexual misconduct. Martin was devastated. He went from being furious at his mentor to insisting…
Many of our clients find it incredibly hard to ask for help from others. Some believe it’s a sign of weakness, others worry they will get in trouble, and still others have gotten rewarded for their independence so know of no other way. Yet in this current climate where life is fast, complex, and ever-changing, the ability to ask for help from others becomes increasingly important to your success and the success of your teams and organizations. So, what are…
“Between stimulus and response, there is space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” — Viktor Frankl Many of you who know our work know of our passion for the Fundamental Pause. We call it the Fundamental Pause because it is indeed a business fundamental. In the world of work, the ability to interrupt our typical reactions so that we can respond is profoundly powerful. But as Frankl…
In a recent conversation with a funny and smart executive, he said to us, “I know that I need to get some perspective on this issue, but I haven’t got a clue how to go about it!” We are always quite impressed when leaders in major positions can talk with us about their struggles with leadership. It’s hard for people in positions of authority to acknowledge that at times they have no idea what to do next. Many have read…
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.” — Mark Twain Over the past several years, there has been a shift from people retiring from work at 62, to people stepping into their next careers in their 60s, 70s, and even their 80s. While many people are choosing a new career at this age in life, we know that some people must work to…
“Anticipating problems and figuring out how to solve them is actually the opposite of worrying: it’s productive.” — Chris Hadfield, An Astronaut’s Guide to Life on Earth We love this quote and the distinction it makes between problem solving and worrying, and they are very different. Worrying is defined at Dictionary.com as: “to torment oneself with or suffer from disturbing thoughts; to fret.” We have all been there, feeling truly tormented by disturbing thoughts about our life, our…
We were in a meeting recently with a client who was describing how she had lost herself. In an effort to please her boss and succeed with her team, she had started to do what she believed they valued, would make her likable, and would move her forward. She was totally out of touch with what she thought about her department, what she believed needed to happen to succeed, how she would be most effective, and what she needed from…
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Carpenter Smith Consulting is a Women Business Enterprise, Oregon Cert ID 7047.
