Last week, we talked about Disappointing Others. A number of you wrote to thank us for that post and asked about an even more challenging person to disappoint… yourself. You described having the experience of being disappointed in something you did or didn’t do, or gave up on too early and found yourself paralyzed by self-doubt. Self-doubt is a debilitating emotion that leaves us unprotected in our inner world and unable to take action on our own behalf in our…
One of the toughest parts of being human is disappointing others. Yet it happens all the time, whether intentionally or unintentionally—there is no way to truly stop disappointing others. In the managing world and in the parenting world, disappointing others goes with the territory. Unfortunately, in order to be a good manager (and a good parent) you have to get used to disappointing others. There is no way that you are going to make everyone happy all the time. Sometimes…
“I feel like a zombie — like the walking dead. I float through my life, doing one task after another without meaning or purpose. I am always doing, but I’m not fully alive. I’m always running… from work, to home, to my daughter’s soccer game. I’m constantly trying to keep up and yet feel like I’m just going through the motions, and showing up without really being there. How did I become like this? This was not the life I…
Last week we wrote Take Small Steps and talked about how small steps taken consistently over time can lead you to your goals faster than big steps taken from time to time. There are benefits to moving slow, as slow change is less likely to evoke resistance from inside of you and from those in your world. Slower, more consistent change over time can decrease others’ fear that you are changing, things are out of control, they are going to…
If you’ve been reading the Monday Morning Business Coach for a while you probably know that we are big fans of small steps. When you take small steps, you’re less likely to evoke internal, psychological resistance to change and start to get traction. And when you take those small steps consistently over time you can end up in an entirely new place! “Small steps taken consistently over time will lead you to your goals faster than big steps taken from…
“Mountaintops inspire leaders but valleys mature them.” — Winston Churchill Leadership isn’t just inspiration, it is also the ability to get things done. We’ve met many leaders, young and old, who have wonderful ideas (they can see the mountain tops), but they have no idea how to turn those ideas into reality (walking through the valley). When we work with leaders, we are always asking them to keep an eye on the mountaintops that will inspire their teams but to…
“We’re great at admiring our problems, but we haven’t got a clue how to fix them!” An executive that we admire, we’ll call him Rick, was sharing with us the struggle he was having with his new team. He was candid about the fact that he had started to “drink the kool-aid”—he too had started to stand back and admire the problems that had plagued the company for years. When he realized that he was slipping into a state of…
We were recently meeting with a CEO of a medium-sized business. Our conversation focused on how she could get over her fear and take the risks she knows she needs to take in her business. Her language was language of “jumping off a cliff,” “taking the leap,” and “I’ve got to risk the business.” It was language that accurately reflected her experience but didn’t accurately reflect what she should do next. When you reach a point in your life,…
One of the most significant struggles our clients report is feeling busy beyond belief. From overworked, under-resourced managers to busy working parents, to business owners who are struggling to stay above water, we know that people are busy and stressed. What can you do? It can certainly help to take a break over the weekend or get out with friends for an evening, but to really make a dent in your busy-ness factor, you will need to start engaging in…
One of the myths that we hear with great frequency is that “it takes 28 days to form a habit.” While it can be dismissed as a harmless myth, it actually leaves people feeling stupid or inadequate when, after 28 days, they have not changed something they have been working on, and that disappointment can keep them from sticking with their efforts to behave in new ways. In our experience, real change takes between 9–12 months of practice, and then…
We stand shoulder-to-shoulder with leaders, teams, and individuals who are passionate about growing in their leadership and in their ability to create cultures of psychological safety and engagement.
Carpenter Smith Consulting is a Women Business Enterprise, Oregon Cert ID 7047.
